Is “Friendship” really forever?

As kids, we’ve been hearing this: “Friendship is Forever”; “A friend in need is a friend indeed” and all other worldly versions of how undying this relationship called as friendship can be!

The question is – How believable this “Friendship-is-forever” theory is?

When we agree to the saying “The only thing permanent in this world is change, won’t it be a paradox to say Friendship-is-forever”?

Okay, we have this bunch of people in our lives, proudly termed as ‘FRIENDS’, who have been with us through a good amount of ups & downs, for say a few years or even a decade or two! The moment you met them, you knew they were the “friends-type-material” OR you discovered it gradually from the instance when you met them for the first time, with this feeling growing with every new meeting. And by now, you are sure (Well, almost sure!) that you know them so well. So well, that you, with bare minimum efforts can predict what/how their reaction will be for certain statements/acts of yours AND vice versa! That’s how well you know each other by now!

All goes well, even with your difference in choices, opinions, thoughts, actions, reactions & host of other dissimilarities. However, an interesting observation springs up when you directly or indirectly come face-to-face with how exactly this friend of your feels about you!

Case1: The new finding delights you… Because now you know how special you as a friend are to this person!

Case2: The new finding disappoints you … Because you just discovered that this ‘friend’ hardly cares about your existence!

In Case1 – how permanent should this feeling of delight be? What makes us so sure while celebrating, that the next finding is Not going to be similar to that of Case2?
Yeah, maybe it’s the most cynical way of looking at this case, but won’t that prep us mentally to face the ‘god-forbid’ case 2? Still, we as normal human beings choose to believe in this new finding cent-percent & continue this relationship – ‘Friendship’. And we quote this case as a reason good enough to overlook any hurt this relationship or this friend is causing to you!

In Case2 – the best consoling reasoning we can think of is ‘He/She was never my friend on the first place’! However, the very fact that we need to console ourselves for something he/she said is a pointer enough to tag him/her as our friend enough on the first place! So that consoling doesn’t work an inch! All other reasoning after this either fails or are hardly convincing. Confronting is a sure shot of way of reinforcing the deeply imbibed feeling of hurt or resentment. So, we as normal friends, chose to either overlook this bad patch, continue with this friendship until we bump into another instance of such case2. OR we give up – on that person, on that relationship.

Is it that difficult/unimportant to be transparent even with your closest friends – about everything, including how important/insignificant that friend is to you? Is it true that we tend to over-tolerate/overlook hurt caused by our friends, in a bargain to maintain that relationship forever within a comfort zone? Is that when a friendship lasts forever?

Is it even practical to believe when someone confirms ‘I’ll be there for you forever’?

How long is this ‘forever’? What defines the end to this? How receptive will we be when we see the end approaching to one of our undying ‘Forever-Friendships’?

And above all, why in spite of such experiences in our lives, still some individuals continue to be on the top-priority-list of yours? Are these the ‘Forever-Friends’? Or are they the friends who have not yet defined by Case1 or Case2? OR...is there a possibility of a Case3?

-Rups

Such Enormous thoughts & Painful Questions are still clouding my mind … 24^th July 2007