Bahot tootey, Bahot tootey !!!

Abbtalak Quaatil ka sajdaa
kartey aaye hai…
Aur waqt-e-qatl pe bhi
hum muskuraaye hai;
Magar ye jaankar ki usney
sazaa-e-zindagi de di…
Bahot tootey, Bahot tootey !!!

Mohabbat thi, Mohabbat ki –
tumhi ne di ijaazat thi;
Uss mohabbat ke dhalne par...
Bahot tootey, Bahot tootey !!!

Shab-e-Sohbat ki thi barkat,
tumhe bhi thi meri chaahat;
Wo sohbat bann gayi jo rukhsat,
Bahot tootey, Bahot tootey !!!

Tere darwaaze pe aakar bhi
De na paaye they dastakk;
Teri thokar ko karkey yaad
Bahot tootey, bahot tootey !!!

~ Rups ~ 9th December 2007, Bangalore

"Zindagi tab bhi thi qaayam,
Zindagi abb bhi hai qaayam,
Jaankar isee haqeeqat ko –
Bahot tootey, bahot tootey!!!"

Phir useeki yaad ayee!!

Dinnbhar uskaa zikr hua; Dinnbhar uskii yaad ayee;
Raat ki jabb baat chidii; Phir useeki yaad ayee!

Hoshh me jabbtak rahey; usiparr sawalaat huye;
Abb nashaa hua hai toh; Phir useeki yaad ayee!!

Mehfill me harr ghazal; usiipe humne farmayee;
Jo tanhai me ro diye; toh Phir useeki yaad ayee!!

Haan ashq bhi hai bahaaye, waqt-e-ishtiyaaq mein;
Lekin har ek muskaan ke saath, phir useeki yaad ayee!!

Uskii har ek tasweer ko; hum dafnaa aaye the magar;
Aeeney me khud se nazar huei; toh Phir useeki yaad ayee!!

Paagal dhadkane umr-bhar, usey pukaarti rahi magar;
Abb saanse rukk chali hai toh, phir useeki yaad ayee!!

~ Rups ~ 26th November 2007

Is tadap ka us patthar pe – asar ho jaaye;
Hum rahe khamosh par usey – khabar ho jaye;
Ho sakey agar toh kuch aisa – manzar ho jaye;
Wo uthaye palkein apni to humse – nazar ho jaye!!

Brought back to life ….

Before the autumns cast

Before the leaves dropped,

Strangely, it started drizzling;

And those dying trees were –

…Brought back to life !

Before the tides went low,

Before the storms could blow,

Those longing rivers rushed …

And with open arms, the ocean –

Brought them back to life!

Before my heart could stop

Before my faith could be lost,

An angel straight out dreams

Held me n kissed my lips….

…..& Brought me back to life!!!

~ Rups ~

23^rd November 2007, Banglaore!

Never mind a short lived dream, never mind at all…

When that magic potion of love – made it up for all!

...

" तेरे दरवाज़े पे आकर भी-
दे न पाए हम दस्तक ...

... तेरी ठोकर को करके याद-
बहोत टूटे , बहोत टूटे !!! "




~ Rups ~
20th November 2007
Still...Bangalore

…Back in your arms

Today was just another day – but, oh so blue!
Yet another day, I had to live without you!
Didn’t get your mail, sms or phone call & felt so miserable!
As I stepped out from my office door,
Searching for a cab, to go back home;
I felt slightly depressed, a pain quite unbearable!

Withholding stormy tears inside,
Adjusting my laptop & purse aside;
Somehow gathered my broken thought;
And then gave best try,
To let this phase pass by;
But it really didn’t helped, Oh!, how hard I fought!

Throughout my way back home,
I realized I’m so much on my own!
The thought worsened as I keyed to open the door.
I hated to switch on the lights,
Didn’t want to see my own sight,
And then crashed uncontrollably on the cold, cold floor!

Ice cold floor and warm tear drops
Frightening heartbeats, silent sobs;
I lost the count of the ticking clock & my breath too…
Gradually it all disappeared -
Darkness, pains and the cold,
Strangely out of nowhere, when I spotted you…

Just one warm hug, Just one assuring kiss,
I might have felt so peaceful,
When I was back in your arms…
Just one glance,Just one smile,
& I probably didn’t need an angel,
When I was back in your arms….!!!!
Just one moment,Just one with you,
I probably didn’t even seek a prayer,
When I was back in your arms ….!!!
Just you besides, & only you,
It was too late, but my wish came true…
When I was back in your arms ….. !!!!


~ Rups ~
12th November 2007
Can’t call it a dream, I may not wake up to reality…
Call it my soul’s solace, when I was back in your arms….!!!

Tired of remembering you!!!

In morning, it’s the first thing I do
& later a zillion times I remember you!
In laughter, in pain, when crazy, when sane…
all that occupies my mind,,,, is you !!!
In dreams, in real, when peaceful, when feared….
all that occurs to me … is you !!!
I find it funny, oh but it’s true!
Memories come haunting to make me blue…
Gosh! I’m so tired now
… tired of remembering you!!!

When I’m wiped off your memory…
Why should you flood mine?
Why can’t it be real
when I say “I’m Fine!”?
When they say ‘Time is the healer’…
Why, until now my wounds are fresh?
It just keeps getting worst,
While I try my best!
with such a disturbed life…
Where’s the peace when I rest?

Yes, I find it funny, but it’s true!
Memories come haunting to make me blue…
Gosh! I’m so tired now
… So tired of remembering you!!!
Why can’t I, now, be remembered by you?

~Rups ~
10th November 2007 (Diwali)
In this festival of lights, I feel so lost inside...
Where is he, who used to make me feel bright?

Is it possible?..... Before I sleep....

Is it possible to Love someone so dearly that it hurts?
Is it possible to lie to someone who knows the truth?
Is it possible to stay away from someone so close?
Is it possible to crave for someone who’s around?

Is it impossible to get someone out of your dreams?
Is it impossible to mean this: “I’m over you”?
Is it impossible to weep for someone who made you cry?
Is it impossible to forget someone who forgot you exist?

Is it possible, U knew how I feel inside, when I cry?
Is it possible, U understood, I lied, with a Goodbye?
Is it possible, U missed me too, while I wished for you?
Is it possible, U surprise me someday; with a: “love you too!”?

~Rups~ ..... 15^th October 2007 …

I wish:....
“You come to me n hold me tight & whisper in my ear how much you care for me”
Before I sleep! Before I sleep!!

Take for Granted!

"You don’t know them much? – Then, you Won't take them for granted!
You’ve known them since ages? – Oh Good! then you CAN take them for granted!"

It’s an open secret: We all tend to take our own people for granted!

Picture this:

You are walking down the street & because you are a little lost in thoughts you don’t take note of the little boy whom you almost bumped into and he was about to fall down. What’s your reflex reaction? You hold him, make sure he’s fine. Make sure he’s not hurt & then you apologize: “Oh! I’m Sorry! I didn’t see you; I’m so very sorry to hurt you!”

Now, Picture this:

You are at home and are carefully penning your thoughts in a beautiful card for your friend. Your little sister & brother are up to some mischief which is more of a game to them. Hide n seek! Suddenly your brother comes & in the attempt to hide from your sister, he with an unexpected push to you hides beneath your chair. But your card is spoilt & the damage is done! What happens next?... “Gosh! Can’t you see, I’m busy? Go away!”

Why do we, fully grown matured adults lack the basic etiquettes with our own people?
Why do we hesitate to (or forget to) apologize for our mistakes to our own people?
Why do we consider the pains caused by us to our own people less important?
Why do we overlook the gravity of hurt we caused to our own friends?
Why do we pamper our egos, fully aware that it’s devastating?
Why do we prefer to stay silent, when talking is needed?
Why do we keep distances when meeting is required?
Why do we run away when a confrontation pops up?
Why do we not say sorry, when we feel it?
Why do we not initiate or break the ice?
Why do we take people for granted?

When we are fully aware that these are our own people, our own loved ones! They’ve accepted us for what we are. And they’d continue to love us. Least they’d never intend to hurt us even when things don’t work out; they’d prefer to keep mum with their burning eyes n broken heart. But they’d not think of taking revenge. They care of us. Then, what stops us from caring for them? We know it, just one heartfelt apology would work wonders, instead of that, we tend to spoil things further. Instead of hugging & making up; we prefer to take things for granted & ignore them. Expecting all will be fine automatically? Or maybe expecting, if we don’t make up with them, some one new will eventually take their place? If this is true, then, why do we set wrong expectations with them? Why can’t we tell them out right that they don’t matter to us? They never did … and hence are taken for granted!

~Rups~

6^th October 2007 … Eye opener

Mercy Death

Don’t in today’s world we treat clinical depression with the same importance as that of physical ailment? Don’t we suggest our friends/family/acquaintances to seek professional help even if we gauge a dash of disturbance even if that’s on emotional level?

If you answered positively to any one of the above stated questions; then did you ever ponder on this: Why is “Mercy Death (Mercy killing)” confined to patients with overwhelming physical pains? And why is a well planned ‘suicide’ by someone who’s tried & tested every possible counseling and medicines – rated as ‘sinful’ or ‘crime’??? Death is more or less a deep sleep which relieves one of all the physical, emotional, spiritual sufferings. This is what leads to the ‘Mercy Death”! Isn't it?

All those seeking professional help are accepted by society (well, more or less); then they are also accepted & admired for their bravery n will-power while they are on medicines/observation/therapies…. In worst cases of irrevocable ailments, everybody still shows acceptance to the “Extreme” measure of “Mercy Death” ….. But ya! This holds true ONLY and ONLY if the dead or to-be-dead is suffering physically….
No consideration is given for those with unbearable mental or emotional pains! WHY?

If we say we belong to a modern democratic society – which respects individual space – then why this society rates the decisions taken by an individual as “Extreme or hasty or right or wrong”? Do they even have the authority to do so? What role this society played when the person in question was suffering? If a person’s life is said to be his/her business, so is his/her death! (Remember – “It’s my life” – stance?)

If I get killed in accident or mishap – I get all the sympathy, consideration & acceptance from everyone. But if I choose to end my life – it’s seen as a “Crime” – so bad that even the insurance companies refuse to pay my nominees the hard earned money that I have been investing with them all my life! Leave alone the reactions from normal people (including my life-long friends/family/acquaintances!

Why can’t we accept or at least attempt to accept “Suicides” by matured, normal, thoughtful adults (who have obviously exhausted all the possible measures on this earth) as “Normal”? Esp. on grounds similar to that of “Mercy-Death” theory???? WHY?


~ Rups ~
Mercy Death...11th Sept 2007....PH. Blore

... क्या कहना ?

शब-भर रहे इंतज़ार तेरा , शब-भर इसी तलब में जगना;
सुबह तुझको रूबरू पाना; उस सुबह का क्या कहना ?

बारीश के थमने पर भी, आब- ए - चश्म का बहना ...
हर एक अश्क़ में तेरा रुखसार, उस अश्क़ का क्या कहना ?

कभी यादें, कभी कशीश, कभी आरज़ू, कभी ख़लिश ...
कभी तेरी तड़प में जीना, उस तड़प का क्या कहना ?

गीला नहीं की उम्रभर , तुझी को ढूँढती रही नज़र ...
आख़िरी घड़ी तू नज़र आये , उस घड़ी का क्या कहना ?

~ Rups ~
एक ऐसी ही हसीं घड़ी - जब तू मेरे साथ हो;
थम जाये ज़िंदगी - जब तू मेरे साथ हो !!!

Abb takk hichaki lagi nahi

Abbtakk lagi nahi, eik bhi hichaki -

Shayad kisiney yaad kiya nahi;

Dhadkane bhi chalti rahi jyo ke tyo-

Kisiney pyaar se jo pukaraa nahi !!

Sust sei rahi aankhe dinbhar

Deedar-e-chiraag abtakk hua nahi;

Shaam ke dhaltey aur bhi bechain hui

Lekin kisiney pyar se sulaya nahi !!

Socha tha mahtaab ke saath saath

Ussey bhi rubaroo ho jayenge ...

Lekin aaj ki siyaah raat ke chaltey

fakat wohi nazar ayaa nahi !!

Yoon toh abb takk so jaatey,

Lekin khamosh badaa manzar hai...

Isee umeed pe hai abtak jagey

Ke dastak dete wo aa jaye yahin !!

~ Rups ~

10th April 2007, 3:10am, B'lore

...Just to Say "GoodBye"

I know I was missing him throughout the weekend;

Finally I got to see him by Sunday End…

He brought the usual smile on my lips that night;

But what was gonna happen next..Oh! I didn’t realize…

He made me laugh,

He made me smile,

He made me dream,

He made me think,

He made me write,

He made me sing,

He made me dance,

He made me fly…

All this…. Just to say… Goodbye!!!

We had some tea, after a game of chess,

Still bearing the pain within, that I couldn’t suppress;

So, I decided to tell him… he was dearly missed…

But to him it sounded so stupid, that he dismissed!

And then he asked me subtly to stay away…

Till then, I didn’t realize…

He made me laugh,

He made me smile,

He made me dream,

He made me think,

He made me write,

He made me sing,

He made me dance,

He made me fly…

All this…. Just to say… Goodbye!!!

~Rups~

30^th April 2007, 6:40am, Bangalore

Commitment or Closure?

Commitment: A lifelong affair
Closure: A one-min breakup

Commitment: Tough & Scary
Closure: The easiest Safe-exit

Commitment: A cage in making
Closure: Freedom for life

Commitment: Caring & Sharing
Closure: Ignoring & Hurting

Commitment: Dream come True
Closure: Sleepless nights

Commitment: A ‘wanted’ addiction
Closure: Detachment & Nirvana

Commitment: Back to Life
Closure: A Dead End

Commitment: 2 hearts, one love
Closure: No Heart, No love

Commitment: Make-a-Life
Closure: Life? What Life?

Commitment: A ‘Yes’ :)
Closure: A ‘No’ :(

~Rups~
11th September 2007 … A faded Evening…
So, What’s wiser?
Commitment or closure?

Role-Reversal?

When the good plays bad
& the bad plays ugly,
What does the ugly play?


When the ‘present’ calls quit,
What does the future do?


When Friends play foe,
What does foe do?


When love does all the hurting,
What does hatred do?


When heart does the thinking,
What does the brain do?


When God plays the devil,
What does the devil do?


When “life” kills you,
What does death do?


~ Rups ~
11th September 2007 …. Bangalore... Hate this date!
When proximity distances us,
What does a "closure" do?

Why does one chooses to ignore someone?

Though it’s quite obvious to understand that I’m not discussing strangers here; let me make it explicit: I’m talking about those who choose to comfortably “Ignore” their own people. These people aren’t on the ignorer’s ‘General Acquaintances’ list nor on their ‘I-don’t-Care-for” list; at least this is what is being conveyed to them. Then WHY are they ignored? And always?

Either the one who’s ignoring have set wrong expectation with respect to the importance level of that person – with that person! In this case, it’s easier to escape by being blunt in conveying a ‘Once-&-for-all’ message of “I-Really-Don’t-Care-for-you” to the person being ignored. But why don't they do that? Are they too ignorant for this too?

OR it’s possible that the one who is being ignored is actually important – but is not supposed to be shown his/her worth & the simplest way to convince this is to ignore them – always! Looks like a rare scenario to me!

But what compels a person ‘A’ to “IGNORE” the presence of a person ‘B’ – esp. when B adores A? Is it the fear of showing involvement? Fear of wrong expectation-setting? Sheer joy of seeing some1 hurt? The kick one gets out of seeing the helplessness of one’s emotional state of mind? Or the feeling of being in Control? What is it? What it can possibly be?

Why?
Why does one chooses to ignore someone? Someone who adores them?
Why does one chooses to hurt someone? Someone whose only wish is to see them happy?
Why does it happen that in spite of getting ignored & hurt, we continue to love someone?
Why doesn’t the pain overtake our emotions & we decide to give up on that person?
Why does one becomes more & more forgiving, in spite of one’s ruthlessness?
Why do we cherish every single memory of someone – who doesn’t even know we exist?
Why do we believe in miracles, when we see someone special thrashing our dreams?
Why do we choose to remain silent, every time when that ‘special someone’ makes us cry?
Why do we choose to live in a pseudo-world of love n harmony, in spite of hatred around?
Why do we crave for one instance of attention from someone, who simply chooses to ignore us?
Why do we "pretend" this ignorant behavior doesn’t matter – neither do the person?
Why do we, somewhere deep inside still desire for someone – who has been ignoring us?
Why?

~ Rups ~
9th September 2007, 11:55pm; Bangalore
Why can’t I reciprocate to every instance of ignorance – with ignorance?
Why can’t my likes n dislikes be controlled by me – likes & dislikes beyond the materialistic world!

... Missing Someone?

Tanhaai mein humney Aeena dekhna chod diya
Humarey aks me unkee tasweer dikhayi padti hai;
Abb toh khamoshi mein bhi sukoon nahin milta
Usee gair-maujood ki awaaz sunaayi padti hain !!!

~ Rups ~

Kabtakk khaali aahaton se, raat-raat hum jagey?
Koi aahat aisi bhi ho - jiska ilzaam unpey lagey…!

~ 4th Sept '07, Bangalore

Just 'One'

It takes just one match stick to light a fire;

It takes just one blow of air to put off one.

It takes just one determination to win a race;

It takes just one fear of loss to give up.

It takes just one missed beat to win a heart;

It takes just misdeed to break one.

It takes just one handshake to make a friend;

It takes just one backstab to loose one.

It takes just one dream to a sound sleep;

It takes just one nightmare to disturb one.

It takes just one wrong word to cause hurt;

It takes just one sincere apology to make up.

It takes just one tear to feel helpless;

It takes just one friendly hug to console!

It takes just one ‘special’ person to love;

It takes just one acknowledgment to feel loved.

It takes just one strong bond to form a relation;

It takes just one Love to take it further…

It takes just one hope to carry on with life;

It takes just one disaster to give up…

~Rups~

29^th August 2007, PH-Kormangla, Bangalore

Bepardaa naa karo zakhmo ko...!

Abtakk jo chupaye rakhe hai, beparda na karo un zakhmo ko;

Is zamaney me marham se zyada, namak sasta miltaa hai !!

Mitti ke baney logo me, kuch paththar ke but bhi miltey hai;

Abb Paththar se dil takraye gar, toh thoda dard hota hi hai !!

Haan kuch tabdeeli hui toh hai, tez daudte insaano me;

Suna hai aajkal Chaahat ke badley, dard nawaaza jaata hai !!

Who har pal jo aaj hai kareeb, usime jeena seekh lo;

Palon ki ahmiyat ko tootatey, waqt kahaa lagtaa hai?

Ashqo ki sachchai me abb, logo ko dilchaspi kahaa?

Magar muskaan farzi bhi ho, usey khoob sarahaa jataa hai !

Apno me baney kuch rishto me buss yahi ek dikkat hai;

Gar unka anjaam na ho, to rishtey ko thukraaya jaata hai !!

Har safar ko waqt ke tarazu me napaa nahi kartey …

Kuch raastey aise bhi hotey hai, jinki manzilo ka nishaa miltaa nahi !!

~ Rups ~

22^nd April, 2007; 7.50 a.m.; Bangalore ;
After an hour’s walk from home to office….

Garr chaahat ho chaand ki, to raato ko jagnaa padta hai;

Waisey bhi aashiqo ka neend se, waasta hi kya hotaa hai?

Are we still "Ruled"…?

“He came, he saw, he conquered…”
…If this seems like a thing of past to you, think again! Also, you may try replacing ‘He’ in the above statement to ‘she’…Does something click?

Every single soul, in this whole wide world, at some point of time, is either ‘ruled’ by some person or takes charge as a ‘ruler’. The only difference is neither the ‘ruling’ nor the ‘ruled-over’ symptoms are made explicitly apparent to others. Still, it does exist.

Take a simple case of someone in love – true love (?) – His/her world virtually revolves around a single person – most of the times. Right from the first instance when we miss a beat, to the last drop of tear (or a silent sob) – everything is triggered by a single person; who rules us! If you are in love, or had been in love; you might’ve experienced this by now in some or the other form. If not, you probably belong to the ruling partyJ which by the way is not a permanent state!

So, is the probability of we getting ruled by someone limited to ‘Lovey-Dovey’ phase of our lives? Well, I won’t suggest that. Even as kids, we are controlled, if not ruled, by our parents. Now, okay, that is something which takes care of us until we grow; and thus, may sound a ‘must-have’. But in western countries, isn’t the degree of ‘parental control’ much milder than what we see in India? India – where some kids refuse to grow up, even at 20-something; and their parent’s tag this behavior as ‘Obedience/Respect’ etc! In such cases, marital knot brings in yet another ‘soul-to-be-controlled’ for the ruling parents! And guess what? – The ‘kid’ in question serves his/her entire life as an eye-witness with hardly any say or intention to improve the situation.

If you didn’t felt controlled during your childhood, welcome to college life! Esp. while doing professional courses, like Engineering/Medical/IIT/IIM, it’s the set of highly experienced rulers, named ‘Professors/Lecturers/Principals/Hostel Wardens/Lab assistants’ who rule us. This bunch is God-gifted with various creative techniques of torturing/controlling the sinful lot, named ‘The Students’! The smarter set of ‘students’ who manage to bypass the wrath of faculty, have higher chance of encountering it by their final exams and/or campus interviews.

Later and much larger stage of our lives – as professionals, how can one deny the highly controlling species called ‘The Boss’? If you have been lucky – throughout your childhood AND college days, you are bound to face the music in your professional lives! Of late, I heard one of my close friend (& a pretty successful manager) say, “It’s not a ‘Company’, nor it’s your ‘Team’; U work for your boss – whether you like it or not – that’s the fact!”. I must say, that statement irritated me to the core; but later I realized ‘every bitter truth sucks’! So, if you don’t want to surrender to a ‘Boss-cum-Ruler’, try being your own boss (And rule your employees) J Yeah, good idea, be an entrepreneur – just to discover a huge list of ‘Rulers’ like: Customer, Market Share, competition, Stability, Finances, Growth, labor laws, Brand building & the list goes on…

Even in a life of most simple, passive, subtle, submissive, laid-back person, there are a host of ‘rulers’ that controls their lives! Rulers like – Happiness, Sadness, Money, Solitude, Addictions, Phobias, Beauty, Health, Wealth, Poverty, Relationships, Dreams, Spirituality, Nirvana, Death, … still makes way to rule us!

Amidst of all these Worldly Rulers, sometimes, we rebel; sometimes, we fight; sometimes we loose; sometimes we win… And sometimes, we choose to surrender, for a long term benefit (for example: for being together forever with your loved ones, we tend to surrender!)…

So, is getting ‘RULED’ a part of our lives? OR is it practically possible to achieve a true sense of ‘Freedom’, or at least believe in some such thing while we are still ruled?

~ Rups~ 26th August 2007

... Aaj-Kal ...

Jhaankey mere absaar^ me; garr koi ek pal

Ishtiyaaq^ milega, mere usee qaatil ka aaj kal...

Jis daaman ko woh chookar bhi thaam na saka –

Humney aab-e-chashm^ se, usko bheegoya aajkal...

Usee befikra ka taalib^ bann chuka yeh dill

Jisne isi bebas ko wahshat^ mey dhakela aajkal…

Uski judaai par, usssey gila kar na sakey

Toh apni hi qazaa^ ko gunehgaar kahaa aajkal…

Dhadkane tez karkey, woh thukra gaya humey

Usei thokar ko talkh^ dawaa banayaa aajkal...

Khaak ho jaaye hasti, 'usiki' muraad me

Kabhi maut ki, kabhi “Uski” talab^ hai aajkal….

~ Rups ~ 7th November 2006, Bangalore

Meanings of a few Urdu words in this Ghazal:

^Absaar: Eyes
^Ishtiyaaq: Longing/Craving/Desire
^Aab-e-chashm: Tears
^Taalib: seeker/enquirer/lover/candidate
^Wahshat: solitude/grief/fear/sadness/loneliness
^Qazaa: fate/destiny/jurisdiction/judgement
^Talkh: Bitter
^Talab: Search/Wish/Demand

... Mubarakaa, Mubarakaa!

Zindagi ko garr kaho 'zaayka' -

Kuch namkeen, kuch khatta;

Khuda karey, naam tere -

Aaye wo, jo ho subsey Meetha !!!


~ Rups ~
22nd Aug 2007
( B'day Wishes for a colleague, for a friend - Gowri! )

Umeed hai, Intezaar hai…. Buss ek wo hi nahi ….!!!

Dil hai, dhadkan hai; Saansey hai, zindagi hai;
Zindagi hai, Hum hai, … Buss ek wo hi nahi …!!!


Os ki boondey hai; Halki subah ki dhoop hai;
Dhoop hai, Chaaon hai… Buss ek wo hi nahi …!!!


Sooraj me doobi lehre hai; Raah dekhta saahil hai;
Saahil hai, Samundar hai, … Buss ek wo hi nahi …!!!


Ek anjaani manzil hai; Safar ki haseen Raahey hai;
Raahey hai, Raahi hai; … Buss ek wo hi nahi …!!!


Sitaaro ki mehfil hai; Roshan chandni sey raat hai;
Raat hai, Tanhai hai; … Buss ek wo hi nahi …!!!


Manzar-e-Mohabbat hai; us farishtey ki khwahish hai;
Khwahishey hai, khamoshi hai… Buss ek wo hi nahi…!!


Ek tootati zindagi hai; Ek aakhiri umeed hai;
Umeed hai, Intezaar hai…. Buss ek wo hi nahi ….!!!



~~~ Rups ~~~
10th August 2007 ...203, Bangalore

Saans lete thak gaye, abb nikla humara janaaza hai...
Janaaza hai, meri maut ka magar... Phir bhi ek wo hi nahi....!!!

Alone…

As yet another tiring week passes by,

As I get closer to the most awaited weekend…

I remember all those old weekends we spent together

And then, it gets tougher to go home & stay there alone!!!

As I still live in the same city, near his old house

As I pass by the same lanes & same places…

I remember all our walks on those streets together

And then it makes no sense to be in the same city so alone!!!

As we share a few common friends,

As those friends are still in touch…

I remember all those outings to best of pubs together

And then it HURTS so much to avoid them, just to be alone!!!

~ Rups ~ ~~~~ 17th August 2007, Friday ~~~~

Why don't they understand,

Those who leave, without saying 'GoodBye'?

Why do I have to see the truth in Mirror?

Why the Mirrors don't even try to Lie?

...

abhi toh jagey hai ... usike khwabo se..
Abhi toh nikale hai ... usike khayalo se ..
Kuch aur is khumari me rehne do ...
Shayad yeh dinn bhi phir hasseen katey!




~ Rups ~

...Chahtey Hai...

Bahot so chukey abbtakk
Abb thoda jaganaa chahtey hai;
Kisikey soyi soyi ankho me ...
Raat bhar khona chahtey hai!!!

Bahot khamosh rahe abbtakk,
Abb thodi baatey karna chahtey hai;
kisiki aahaton ko sunanaa hai...
kisiki dhadkano me khona chahtey hai!!!

Bahot chaltey rahe abbtakk,
Abb thoda ruknaa chahtey hai;
Kisika haath thaame baithna hai...
Kisiki aghoshh me simatna chahtey hai!!!

Bahot saansey lee abbtakk,
Abb thoda JEENA chahtey hai;
Kisiki ‘jaan’ bankar dekhnaa hai...
Kisime rooh bankar jeena chahtey hai!!!

~ Rups ~

Kya Haseen Yeh Khayaal hai ..
Ki aapkey Khayalo me khoye rahey;
Raatbhar tehaltey rahey chhatt par
Chaand me aapko talaashtey rahey!

15th March 2007, Bangalore

... a B'day Song ..

Wish you were here, with me ,
Wish we were together on this special day,
Wish I could've celebrated it in my own special way,
However, it seems wishes don't come true anymore,
It seems things for you are better this way...
... Guess, you are much happier when you are away!

Still, i wanted to WISH you a WONDERFUL B'DAY
Wished to see you SMILING ... today, tomorrow & every other day...

I kept wondering all night yesterday - what gift can i present to you?
I wondered what's that one thing that'll ensure you remain happy forever?
I got the answer - in all your past words to me ...
It was my absence!!!
-Not that it would have meant much to you,
Same as my presence...
But here is my Gift to you, My Beloved Friend...
On this very day, from your life, I move away... Far Far Away.... !!!

Still, i wanted to WISH you a WONDERFUL B'DAY
Wished to see you SMILING ... today, tomorrow & every other day...
That's what i wished to do - before I could go away!

~Rups
Couldn't get a Cake, Couldn't get a bouquet;
Couldn't even meet, Couldn't even wish, him
'Cos I wasn't needed, I wasn't missed...
So, I penned my wishes ... In this b'day song for him.

... Kal takk they jinkey aas paas...

Kal takk they jinkey aas paas,

Aaj unki hi khabar milti nahi;

Rehti hai unki tasweer aankho mei,

Magar unhi sey nazar milti nahi!!!

Yahaa ke log humey dekh-kar,

Yaad Aapko hi kartey hai…

Humey toh humey; In logo ko bhi,

Abb Aapsey fursat milti nahi!!!

Aap par likhey nazmo ki kitaab,

Seeney se lagaaye rakhi hai;

Iskey alawaa ghar me humarey,

Koi keemati cheez milti nahi!!!

Mohabbat key sataay, hum,

‘Uff’ karna bhi bhool chukey;

Aap ke hotey kuch araam tha,

Abb koi dawaa milti nahi!!!

~~Rups~~

Jabtakk unkey kareeb rahey... Unki aankho me doobna lajmi tha;

Magar unsey bichadkar; aansoo-o me doobna bhi khoob laga!

Theys toh lagni hi thi dil ko; Ek arsaa huaa milkar unsey…

Phir milney ki umeed sey hi, us chot ka bhar anaa bhi khoob raha!

Ek Mehfil aur Ek Ajnabee...

Us din ke mehfil me - humara janaa bhi khoob raha;
Ek haseen ajnabee se, takraana bhi khoob raha!

Waise to anjaanon se yoon khulkar hum milte nahi -
Magar us anjaan chehre ko pehchaanana bhi khoob raha!

Dilpheynk toh hum nahi; Guroor thoda hum me bhi hai,
Magar ek anjaaney key liye is dil ka dhadknaa khoob raha!

Abtakk Log dekhtey they humey, humne kisiko nihara nahi,
Lekin un nigahon me, humaraa doobna bhi khoob raha!

Woh toh khamosh rahey… Bharey Mehfil me raatbhar,
Aur unhisey baat karneke liye – humara tadapna bhi khoob raha!

Abtakk hum samjhe nahi – kyoun rehta hai dil na saboor?
Lekin unhey samney paakar, sukoon ka lautna khoob raha!

Mehfil-e-shaam ke dhaltey, shayad wo humey bhool gaye…
Magar achanak dobaraa sey unsey milna bhi khoob raha!

Lagta tha milkar unsey, kaheen aadat na padd jaye unki … Lekin
Unsey mehroom hokar, unko khud me hi panaa bhi khoob raha!

~~Rups~~
Unsey toh bahot kuch mila hai, dard bhi dawaa bhi;
Lekin unsey milne ke baad, duniya se khona bhi khoob raha...!!

'Ek Mehfil Aur Ek Ajnabee' ... Dedicated to the FIRST sight ... the FIRST meet!!!