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तुमसे दूर इस शक़्स का, ना पूछो क्या हाल है;
दर्द है, तड़प है, और हज़ारों सवाल है। 

कुछ ऐसे सवाल है, जिनके दर्दभरे जवाब है;
आरज़ू है तुम्हारी, पर हासिल सिर्फ ख़्वाब है।  

कल के चाँद से पूछो, हम रात भर जागते रहे;
तुम गहरी नींद में थे, पर हम तड़पते रहे। 

हाँ, पता है, सुबह होते, तुम इंतज़ार करोगे;
मेरे ना होने पर, परेशान से रहोगे। 

पर उस रात का क्या, जब दिल तरसते रह जायेगा,
तुम्हारा इंतज़ार करते, शायद थक भी जायेगा। 

वो इंतज़ार नहीं आसान, ख़त्म जो न हो पाए; 
वो इश्क़ नहीं आसान,मुमकिन जो न हो पाए।  


हाँ, पता है, सुबह होते, तुम इंतज़ार करोगे;
मेरे ना होने पर, परेशान से रहोगे। 

पर उस सुबह का क्या, जब तुम तलाशते रहो,
मगर पिछली रात ही, ये दिल धड़कना छोड़ दे?...

~ Ruu ~ 
17 November 2017

Why is it, the way it is?

(... Sneak peek into an Orphan child's thoughts...)

Why is it, the way it is?

Why no one was happy when I was born?

Why my very shelter was torn?

Why is that they called me a problem child?

Why the treatment I got was never mild?

Why the kids next door smiled all the while?

Why I was never even greeted with a smile?

Why my clothes & toys were stained?

Why everyone around were so strained?

Why a decent college didn’t come my way?

Why from everyone was I kept away?

Why was I the caretaker, all the time?

Why was I then, never worth a dime?

Why only my failures were highlighted?

Why as a living thing, I wasn’t cited?

Why getting anything was never so easy?

Why I had to keep myself for lifelong so busy?

Why is it that my struggles go in vain?

Why my pains keep appearing again?

Why is that I don’t get the care I need?

Why nobody cares, when my heart bleeds?

Why can’t I seek peace of mind?

Why with such a life should I bind?

~ Ruu ……

30^th October 2009, Bangalore

Why is it, the way it is?

फिर से क्योँ?

तन्हा तो हम तब से ही थे,
जबसे साथ तुम्हारा छूटा था;
दिलासा दिया था खुद को तब से,
मालूम होता है वो झूठा था!

एक अरसा हुआ, हम तनहा ही रहे,
न मंजिले बनी, न रास्ते छूटे;
आज जब तन्हाई की आदत सी लग चुकी हमको -
फिर से पुकारा तुमने, उतनी ही मोहब्बत से!

... मगर क्योँ? फिर से क्योँ?

~Ruu
22nd July 2009, 2230hours, Bangalore

“Long Distance Love” … A Survival Quiz!

So, you are in love & you are geographically distanced! But do you have what it takes to survive your Romance? ....Your long distance love? Take this quiz to find!
“Long Distance Love” … A Survival Quiz!
For each of the quiz question, pick one (& only one) answer from:

• (a) Of course!!!
  
• (b) Yes
  
• (c) Not Sure
  
• (d) …Umm…

Quiz Questions:

1. Intention: Do you have a burning desire or at least an honest intention of teaming up again with your partner… sooner than later?

2. Communication: Do you spare some dedicated time for quality communication with your partner on daily basis?

3. Sensitivity: Do you really understand & acknowledge when your partner expresses how much he/she miss you?

4. Expression: Do you, once in a while, explicitly express (to your partner) how you feel about being by yourself and about your intentions?

5. Openness: Do you genuinely discuss with your partner about your pleasure, achievements, sorrows, desires, secret crush, recent date etc

6. Respect: Do you respect your partner’s time & space? Do you respect your partner’s feelings & openness towards you?

7. Humor: Do you still have that special connect – so much that you can still make your partner roll in laughter, once in a while?

8. Futurism: Do you really see a future with each other? If yes, do you discuss the planning & strategy in going about it with your partner?

9. Creativity: Do you get creative in the way you communicate with your partner? (Chat/E-mails/Snail-Mails/Greeting-cards/personalized-gifts/creative-SMS/…etc)

10. Long Distance Love: Do you have faith you really have what it takes to survive your romance? … Your long distance love?

Answers & Analysis:

Mostly (a): You Rock! You should share your tricks with others in your situation
Mostly (b): You can make it through the rain! Yes, you can survive this LDL
Mostly (C): You really want to give a try? No, Really????
Mostly (d): You need to stop reading this & go find a “local” date for yourself!

~Ruu~ May 8^th 2008, Bangalore

Busy Lives!!!

Why does our life get busy?
What happens when our lives get busy?
Do we have any control over our very own lives?

Why does our life get busy?
When priorities change in life; that is when life start getting busier.
And life remains busy until we think we have done enough for that priority… and of course until we nominate yet another ‘top priority’!
Well… once we get our passion set, our world revolves around that goal.
And nothing seems to be even half as important as that priority – not even self!

What happens when your lives get busy?
24 hours for a day runs short.
Time management – appears just a mere management term!
you are unable to do anything you think you should be doing; Be it contacting friends, calling up family members or even taking time for self. Everything else in life takes a back seat … except the current top priority!
NOW – the next question is …
When we dedicated all the time we have with all our might; to our ‘Top Priority’ – sacrificing everything else in life – Does it guarantee ‘peace of mind’ thru ‘sense of achievement’? Unfortunately – not always!

Do we have any control over our very own lives?
Ahh! That’s a question or it’s a symbol of confusion?
Many people say… that’s a question – a starting point of ‘Spiritualism’
Question? Confusion? Spiritualism?
....
Sorry
...I can’t cover that here... U see… I’m leading quite a busy life!!!

~ Ruu~
23^rd April, 2008; 00:05 am, Bangalore
Why are people so busy???

Tired of remembering you!!!

In morning, it’s the first thing I do
& later a zillion times I remember you!
In laughter, in pain, when crazy, when sane…
all that occupies my mind,,,, is you !!!
In dreams, in real, when peaceful, when feared….
all that occurs to me … is you !!!
I find it funny, oh but it’s true!
Memories come haunting to make me blue…
Gosh! I’m so tired now
… tired of remembering you!!!

When I’m wiped off your memory…
Why should you flood mine?
Why can’t it be real
when I say “I’m Fine!”?
When they say ‘Time is the healer’…
Why, until now my wounds are fresh?
It just keeps getting worst,
While I try my best!
with such a disturbed life…
Where’s the peace when I rest?

Yes, I find it funny, but it’s true!
Memories come haunting to make me blue…
Gosh! I’m so tired now
… So tired of remembering you!!!
Why can’t I, now, be remembered by you?

~Rups ~
10th November 2007 (Diwali)
In this festival of lights, I feel so lost inside...
Where is he, who used to make me feel bright?

Take for Granted!

"You don’t know them much? – Then, you Won't take them for granted!
You’ve known them since ages? – Oh Good! then you CAN take them for granted!"

It’s an open secret: We all tend to take our own people for granted!

Picture this:

You are walking down the street & because you are a little lost in thoughts you don’t take note of the little boy whom you almost bumped into and he was about to fall down. What’s your reflex reaction? You hold him, make sure he’s fine. Make sure he’s not hurt & then you apologize: “Oh! I’m Sorry! I didn’t see you; I’m so very sorry to hurt you!”

Now, Picture this:

You are at home and are carefully penning your thoughts in a beautiful card for your friend. Your little sister & brother are up to some mischief which is more of a game to them. Hide n seek! Suddenly your brother comes & in the attempt to hide from your sister, he with an unexpected push to you hides beneath your chair. But your card is spoilt & the damage is done! What happens next?... “Gosh! Can’t you see, I’m busy? Go away!”

Why do we, fully grown matured adults lack the basic etiquettes with our own people?
Why do we hesitate to (or forget to) apologize for our mistakes to our own people?
Why do we consider the pains caused by us to our own people less important?
Why do we overlook the gravity of hurt we caused to our own friends?
Why do we pamper our egos, fully aware that it’s devastating?
Why do we prefer to stay silent, when talking is needed?
Why do we keep distances when meeting is required?
Why do we run away when a confrontation pops up?
Why do we not say sorry, when we feel it?
Why do we not initiate or break the ice?
Why do we take people for granted?

When we are fully aware that these are our own people, our own loved ones! They’ve accepted us for what we are. And they’d continue to love us. Least they’d never intend to hurt us even when things don’t work out; they’d prefer to keep mum with their burning eyes n broken heart. But they’d not think of taking revenge. They care of us. Then, what stops us from caring for them? We know it, just one heartfelt apology would work wonders, instead of that, we tend to spoil things further. Instead of hugging & making up; we prefer to take things for granted & ignore them. Expecting all will be fine automatically? Or maybe expecting, if we don’t make up with them, some one new will eventually take their place? If this is true, then, why do we set wrong expectations with them? Why can’t we tell them out right that they don’t matter to us? They never did … and hence are taken for granted!

~Rups~

6^th October 2007 … Eye opener

Mercy Death

Don’t in today’s world we treat clinical depression with the same importance as that of physical ailment? Don’t we suggest our friends/family/acquaintances to seek professional help even if we gauge a dash of disturbance even if that’s on emotional level?

If you answered positively to any one of the above stated questions; then did you ever ponder on this: Why is “Mercy Death (Mercy killing)” confined to patients with overwhelming physical pains? And why is a well planned ‘suicide’ by someone who’s tried & tested every possible counseling and medicines – rated as ‘sinful’ or ‘crime’??? Death is more or less a deep sleep which relieves one of all the physical, emotional, spiritual sufferings. This is what leads to the ‘Mercy Death”! Isn't it?

All those seeking professional help are accepted by society (well, more or less); then they are also accepted & admired for their bravery n will-power while they are on medicines/observation/therapies…. In worst cases of irrevocable ailments, everybody still shows acceptance to the “Extreme” measure of “Mercy Death” ….. But ya! This holds true ONLY and ONLY if the dead or to-be-dead is suffering physically….
No consideration is given for those with unbearable mental or emotional pains! WHY?

If we say we belong to a modern democratic society – which respects individual space – then why this society rates the decisions taken by an individual as “Extreme or hasty or right or wrong”? Do they even have the authority to do so? What role this society played when the person in question was suffering? If a person’s life is said to be his/her business, so is his/her death! (Remember – “It’s my life” – stance?)

If I get killed in accident or mishap – I get all the sympathy, consideration & acceptance from everyone. But if I choose to end my life – it’s seen as a “Crime” – so bad that even the insurance companies refuse to pay my nominees the hard earned money that I have been investing with them all my life! Leave alone the reactions from normal people (including my life-long friends/family/acquaintances!

Why can’t we accept or at least attempt to accept “Suicides” by matured, normal, thoughtful adults (who have obviously exhausted all the possible measures on this earth) as “Normal”? Esp. on grounds similar to that of “Mercy-Death” theory???? WHY?


~ Rups ~
Mercy Death...11th Sept 2007....PH. Blore

Role-Reversal?

When the good plays bad
& the bad plays ugly,
What does the ugly play?


When the ‘present’ calls quit,
What does the future do?


When Friends play foe,
What does foe do?


When love does all the hurting,
What does hatred do?


When heart does the thinking,
What does the brain do?


When God plays the devil,
What does the devil do?


When “life” kills you,
What does death do?


~ Rups ~
11th September 2007 …. Bangalore... Hate this date!
When proximity distances us,
What does a "closure" do?

Why does one chooses to ignore someone?

Though it’s quite obvious to understand that I’m not discussing strangers here; let me make it explicit: I’m talking about those who choose to comfortably “Ignore” their own people. These people aren’t on the ignorer’s ‘General Acquaintances’ list nor on their ‘I-don’t-Care-for” list; at least this is what is being conveyed to them. Then WHY are they ignored? And always?

Either the one who’s ignoring have set wrong expectation with respect to the importance level of that person – with that person! In this case, it’s easier to escape by being blunt in conveying a ‘Once-&-for-all’ message of “I-Really-Don’t-Care-for-you” to the person being ignored. But why don't they do that? Are they too ignorant for this too?

OR it’s possible that the one who is being ignored is actually important – but is not supposed to be shown his/her worth & the simplest way to convince this is to ignore them – always! Looks like a rare scenario to me!

But what compels a person ‘A’ to “IGNORE” the presence of a person ‘B’ – esp. when B adores A? Is it the fear of showing involvement? Fear of wrong expectation-setting? Sheer joy of seeing some1 hurt? The kick one gets out of seeing the helplessness of one’s emotional state of mind? Or the feeling of being in Control? What is it? What it can possibly be?

Why?
Why does one chooses to ignore someone? Someone who adores them?
Why does one chooses to hurt someone? Someone whose only wish is to see them happy?
Why does it happen that in spite of getting ignored & hurt, we continue to love someone?
Why doesn’t the pain overtake our emotions & we decide to give up on that person?
Why does one becomes more & more forgiving, in spite of one’s ruthlessness?
Why do we cherish every single memory of someone – who doesn’t even know we exist?
Why do we believe in miracles, when we see someone special thrashing our dreams?
Why do we choose to remain silent, every time when that ‘special someone’ makes us cry?
Why do we choose to live in a pseudo-world of love n harmony, in spite of hatred around?
Why do we crave for one instance of attention from someone, who simply chooses to ignore us?
Why do we "pretend" this ignorant behavior doesn’t matter – neither do the person?
Why do we, somewhere deep inside still desire for someone – who has been ignoring us?
Why?

~ Rups ~
9th September 2007, 11:55pm; Bangalore
Why can’t I reciprocate to every instance of ignorance – with ignorance?
Why can’t my likes n dislikes be controlled by me – likes & dislikes beyond the materialistic world!

Is “Friendship” really forever?

As kids, we’ve been hearing this: “Friendship is Forever”; “A friend in need is a friend indeed” and all other worldly versions of how undying this relationship called as friendship can be!

The question is – How believable this “Friendship-is-forever” theory is?

When we agree to the saying “The only thing permanent in this world is change, won’t it be a paradox to say Friendship-is-forever”?

Okay, we have this bunch of people in our lives, proudly termed as ‘FRIENDS’, who have been with us through a good amount of ups & downs, for say a few years or even a decade or two! The moment you met them, you knew they were the “friends-type-material” OR you discovered it gradually from the instance when you met them for the first time, with this feeling growing with every new meeting. And by now, you are sure (Well, almost sure!) that you know them so well. So well, that you, with bare minimum efforts can predict what/how their reaction will be for certain statements/acts of yours AND vice versa! That’s how well you know each other by now!

All goes well, even with your difference in choices, opinions, thoughts, actions, reactions & host of other dissimilarities. However, an interesting observation springs up when you directly or indirectly come face-to-face with how exactly this friend of your feels about you!

Case1: The new finding delights you… Because now you know how special you as a friend are to this person!

Case2: The new finding disappoints you … Because you just discovered that this ‘friend’ hardly cares about your existence!

In Case1 – how permanent should this feeling of delight be? What makes us so sure while celebrating, that the next finding is Not going to be similar to that of Case2?
Yeah, maybe it’s the most cynical way of looking at this case, but won’t that prep us mentally to face the ‘god-forbid’ case 2? Still, we as normal human beings choose to believe in this new finding cent-percent & continue this relationship – ‘Friendship’. And we quote this case as a reason good enough to overlook any hurt this relationship or this friend is causing to you!

In Case2 – the best consoling reasoning we can think of is ‘He/She was never my friend on the first place’! However, the very fact that we need to console ourselves for something he/she said is a pointer enough to tag him/her as our friend enough on the first place! So that consoling doesn’t work an inch! All other reasoning after this either fails or are hardly convincing. Confronting is a sure shot of way of reinforcing the deeply imbibed feeling of hurt or resentment. So, we as normal friends, chose to either overlook this bad patch, continue with this friendship until we bump into another instance of such case2. OR we give up – on that person, on that relationship.

Is it that difficult/unimportant to be transparent even with your closest friends – about everything, including how important/insignificant that friend is to you? Is it true that we tend to over-tolerate/overlook hurt caused by our friends, in a bargain to maintain that relationship forever within a comfort zone? Is that when a friendship lasts forever?

Is it even practical to believe when someone confirms ‘I’ll be there for you forever’?

How long is this ‘forever’? What defines the end to this? How receptive will we be when we see the end approaching to one of our undying ‘Forever-Friendships’?

And above all, why in spite of such experiences in our lives, still some individuals continue to be on the top-priority-list of yours? Are these the ‘Forever-Friends’? Or are they the friends who have not yet defined by Case1 or Case2? OR...is there a possibility of a Case3?

-Rups

Such Enormous thoughts & Painful Questions are still clouding my mind … 24^th July 2007

Is being Non-Emotional “THE THING” for this millennium?

Okay, so let’s face it – we all have thought about it for at least ONCE in our lifetime.

“FINE, I’ve had it enough! This time, I’m gonna be oh-so-non-emotional”

But the question is do we really feel that from within or is it just another emotional gesture for a less-emotional person’s emotionless reaction to your selfless act/feeling?

• Do this species called as “The Less-emotional” or “the Non-Emotional” really exist?
• Or are they just some deceptive form of normal, emotional human beings?
• Can’t it be truer that some people actually LACK the art of expressing their emotional self?
• OR
• As in cases of most men (and at times, women) are AFRAID of being expressed (exposed emotionally) in the first place?
• {OR Some other alien feeling (that I can’t think of right now)- ?}

Doubt No. 1: – Do these type of people also AT TIMES feel the need to express flawlessly?
If yes, isn’t that an emotion for fulfilling a practical requirement? Do they express at least this to their loved ones?
If no, have they totally surrendered to the fact(?) that they CAN’T Express?

Doubt No. 2: – Are these kind of people more emotionally vulnerable than any of us? Is it actually a fear of being transparent to others that’s more scary or it’s scarier getting emotionally rejected more pronounced?

Whatever it be, Next question is "How do we deal with such people?"

• Is it wiser to accept them with their deceptive ‘Non-Emotional’mask?
• Is it better to introduce them to their innerselves – gradually? (provided if they allow u nearby) OR
• Is it better to let them hurt you emotionally for all your self less acts or feelings you have for them?

AND

Is it even worth to take a silly decision of being “Non-Emotional” as an after-effect of meeting such less-emotional people?

-Rups

Wondering what happened yesterday & why? Written at 11.45pm on 22^nd July 2007 ... Bangalore