Is it possible?..... Before I sleep....

Is it possible to Love someone so dearly that it hurts?
Is it possible to lie to someone who knows the truth?
Is it possible to stay away from someone so close?
Is it possible to crave for someone who’s around?

Is it impossible to get someone out of your dreams?
Is it impossible to mean this: “I’m over you”?
Is it impossible to weep for someone who made you cry?
Is it impossible to forget someone who forgot you exist?

Is it possible, U knew how I feel inside, when I cry?
Is it possible, U understood, I lied, with a Goodbye?
Is it possible, U missed me too, while I wished for you?
Is it possible, U surprise me someday; with a: “love you too!”?

~Rups~ ..... 15^th October 2007 …

I wish:....
“You come to me n hold me tight & whisper in my ear how much you care for me”
Before I sleep! Before I sleep!!

Take for Granted!

"You don’t know them much? – Then, you Won't take them for granted!
You’ve known them since ages? – Oh Good! then you CAN take them for granted!"

It’s an open secret: We all tend to take our own people for granted!

Picture this:

You are walking down the street & because you are a little lost in thoughts you don’t take note of the little boy whom you almost bumped into and he was about to fall down. What’s your reflex reaction? You hold him, make sure he’s fine. Make sure he’s not hurt & then you apologize: “Oh! I’m Sorry! I didn’t see you; I’m so very sorry to hurt you!”

Now, Picture this:

You are at home and are carefully penning your thoughts in a beautiful card for your friend. Your little sister & brother are up to some mischief which is more of a game to them. Hide n seek! Suddenly your brother comes & in the attempt to hide from your sister, he with an unexpected push to you hides beneath your chair. But your card is spoilt & the damage is done! What happens next?... “Gosh! Can’t you see, I’m busy? Go away!”

Why do we, fully grown matured adults lack the basic etiquettes with our own people?
Why do we hesitate to (or forget to) apologize for our mistakes to our own people?
Why do we consider the pains caused by us to our own people less important?
Why do we overlook the gravity of hurt we caused to our own friends?
Why do we pamper our egos, fully aware that it’s devastating?
Why do we prefer to stay silent, when talking is needed?
Why do we keep distances when meeting is required?
Why do we run away when a confrontation pops up?
Why do we not say sorry, when we feel it?
Why do we not initiate or break the ice?
Why do we take people for granted?

When we are fully aware that these are our own people, our own loved ones! They’ve accepted us for what we are. And they’d continue to love us. Least they’d never intend to hurt us even when things don’t work out; they’d prefer to keep mum with their burning eyes n broken heart. But they’d not think of taking revenge. They care of us. Then, what stops us from caring for them? We know it, just one heartfelt apology would work wonders, instead of that, we tend to spoil things further. Instead of hugging & making up; we prefer to take things for granted & ignore them. Expecting all will be fine automatically? Or maybe expecting, if we don’t make up with them, some one new will eventually take their place? If this is true, then, why do we set wrong expectations with them? Why can’t we tell them out right that they don’t matter to us? They never did … and hence are taken for granted!

~Rups~

6^th October 2007 … Eye opener

Mercy Death

Don’t in today’s world we treat clinical depression with the same importance as that of physical ailment? Don’t we suggest our friends/family/acquaintances to seek professional help even if we gauge a dash of disturbance even if that’s on emotional level?

If you answered positively to any one of the above stated questions; then did you ever ponder on this: Why is “Mercy Death (Mercy killing)” confined to patients with overwhelming physical pains? And why is a well planned ‘suicide’ by someone who’s tried & tested every possible counseling and medicines – rated as ‘sinful’ or ‘crime’??? Death is more or less a deep sleep which relieves one of all the physical, emotional, spiritual sufferings. This is what leads to the ‘Mercy Death”! Isn't it?

All those seeking professional help are accepted by society (well, more or less); then they are also accepted & admired for their bravery n will-power while they are on medicines/observation/therapies…. In worst cases of irrevocable ailments, everybody still shows acceptance to the “Extreme” measure of “Mercy Death” ….. But ya! This holds true ONLY and ONLY if the dead or to-be-dead is suffering physically….
No consideration is given for those with unbearable mental or emotional pains! WHY?

If we say we belong to a modern democratic society – which respects individual space – then why this society rates the decisions taken by an individual as “Extreme or hasty or right or wrong”? Do they even have the authority to do so? What role this society played when the person in question was suffering? If a person’s life is said to be his/her business, so is his/her death! (Remember – “It’s my life” – stance?)

If I get killed in accident or mishap – I get all the sympathy, consideration & acceptance from everyone. But if I choose to end my life – it’s seen as a “Crime” – so bad that even the insurance companies refuse to pay my nominees the hard earned money that I have been investing with them all my life! Leave alone the reactions from normal people (including my life-long friends/family/acquaintances!

Why can’t we accept or at least attempt to accept “Suicides” by matured, normal, thoughtful adults (who have obviously exhausted all the possible measures on this earth) as “Normal”? Esp. on grounds similar to that of “Mercy-Death” theory???? WHY?


~ Rups ~
Mercy Death...11th Sept 2007....PH. Blore

... क्या कहना ?

शब-भर रहे इंतज़ार तेरा , शब-भर इसी तलब में जगना;
सुबह तुझको रूबरू पाना; उस सुबह का क्या कहना ?

बारीश के थमने पर भी, आब- ए - चश्म का बहना ...
हर एक अश्क़ में तेरा रुखसार, उस अश्क़ का क्या कहना ?

कभी यादें, कभी कशीश, कभी आरज़ू, कभी ख़लिश ...
कभी तेरी तड़प में जीना, उस तड़प का क्या कहना ?

गीला नहीं की उम्रभर , तुझी को ढूँढती रही नज़र ...
आख़िरी घड़ी तू नज़र आये , उस घड़ी का क्या कहना ?

~ Rups ~
एक ऐसी ही हसीं घड़ी - जब तू मेरे साथ हो;
थम जाये ज़िंदगी - जब तू मेरे साथ हो !!!

Abb takk hichaki lagi nahi

Abbtakk lagi nahi, eik bhi hichaki -

Shayad kisiney yaad kiya nahi;

Dhadkane bhi chalti rahi jyo ke tyo-

Kisiney pyaar se jo pukaraa nahi !!

Sust sei rahi aankhe dinbhar

Deedar-e-chiraag abtakk hua nahi;

Shaam ke dhaltey aur bhi bechain hui

Lekin kisiney pyar se sulaya nahi !!

Socha tha mahtaab ke saath saath

Ussey bhi rubaroo ho jayenge ...

Lekin aaj ki siyaah raat ke chaltey

fakat wohi nazar ayaa nahi !!

Yoon toh abb takk so jaatey,

Lekin khamosh badaa manzar hai...

Isee umeed pe hai abtak jagey

Ke dastak dete wo aa jaye yahin !!

~ Rups ~

10th April 2007, 3:10am, B'lore

...Just to Say "GoodBye"

I know I was missing him throughout the weekend;

Finally I got to see him by Sunday End…

He brought the usual smile on my lips that night;

But what was gonna happen next..Oh! I didn’t realize…

He made me laugh,

He made me smile,

He made me dream,

He made me think,

He made me write,

He made me sing,

He made me dance,

He made me fly…

All this…. Just to say… Goodbye!!!

We had some tea, after a game of chess,

Still bearing the pain within, that I couldn’t suppress;

So, I decided to tell him… he was dearly missed…

But to him it sounded so stupid, that he dismissed!

And then he asked me subtly to stay away…

Till then, I didn’t realize…

He made me laugh,

He made me smile,

He made me dream,

He made me think,

He made me write,

He made me sing,

He made me dance,

He made me fly…

All this…. Just to say… Goodbye!!!

~Rups~

30^th April 2007, 6:40am, Bangalore

Commitment or Closure?

Commitment: A lifelong affair
Closure: A one-min breakup

Commitment: Tough & Scary
Closure: The easiest Safe-exit

Commitment: A cage in making
Closure: Freedom for life

Commitment: Caring & Sharing
Closure: Ignoring & Hurting

Commitment: Dream come True
Closure: Sleepless nights

Commitment: A ‘wanted’ addiction
Closure: Detachment & Nirvana

Commitment: Back to Life
Closure: A Dead End

Commitment: 2 hearts, one love
Closure: No Heart, No love

Commitment: Make-a-Life
Closure: Life? What Life?

Commitment: A ‘Yes’ :)
Closure: A ‘No’ :(

~Rups~
11th September 2007 … A faded Evening…
So, What’s wiser?
Commitment or closure?

Role-Reversal?

When the good plays bad
& the bad plays ugly,
What does the ugly play?


When the ‘present’ calls quit,
What does the future do?


When Friends play foe,
What does foe do?


When love does all the hurting,
What does hatred do?


When heart does the thinking,
What does the brain do?


When God plays the devil,
What does the devil do?


When “life” kills you,
What does death do?


~ Rups ~
11th September 2007 …. Bangalore... Hate this date!
When proximity distances us,
What does a "closure" do?

Why does one chooses to ignore someone?

Though it’s quite obvious to understand that I’m not discussing strangers here; let me make it explicit: I’m talking about those who choose to comfortably “Ignore” their own people. These people aren’t on the ignorer’s ‘General Acquaintances’ list nor on their ‘I-don’t-Care-for” list; at least this is what is being conveyed to them. Then WHY are they ignored? And always?

Either the one who’s ignoring have set wrong expectation with respect to the importance level of that person – with that person! In this case, it’s easier to escape by being blunt in conveying a ‘Once-&-for-all’ message of “I-Really-Don’t-Care-for-you” to the person being ignored. But why don't they do that? Are they too ignorant for this too?

OR it’s possible that the one who is being ignored is actually important – but is not supposed to be shown his/her worth & the simplest way to convince this is to ignore them – always! Looks like a rare scenario to me!

But what compels a person ‘A’ to “IGNORE” the presence of a person ‘B’ – esp. when B adores A? Is it the fear of showing involvement? Fear of wrong expectation-setting? Sheer joy of seeing some1 hurt? The kick one gets out of seeing the helplessness of one’s emotional state of mind? Or the feeling of being in Control? What is it? What it can possibly be?

Why?
Why does one chooses to ignore someone? Someone who adores them?
Why does one chooses to hurt someone? Someone whose only wish is to see them happy?
Why does it happen that in spite of getting ignored & hurt, we continue to love someone?
Why doesn’t the pain overtake our emotions & we decide to give up on that person?
Why does one becomes more & more forgiving, in spite of one’s ruthlessness?
Why do we cherish every single memory of someone – who doesn’t even know we exist?
Why do we believe in miracles, when we see someone special thrashing our dreams?
Why do we choose to remain silent, every time when that ‘special someone’ makes us cry?
Why do we choose to live in a pseudo-world of love n harmony, in spite of hatred around?
Why do we crave for one instance of attention from someone, who simply chooses to ignore us?
Why do we "pretend" this ignorant behavior doesn’t matter – neither do the person?
Why do we, somewhere deep inside still desire for someone – who has been ignoring us?
Why?

~ Rups ~
9th September 2007, 11:55pm; Bangalore
Why can’t I reciprocate to every instance of ignorance – with ignorance?
Why can’t my likes n dislikes be controlled by me – likes & dislikes beyond the materialistic world!

... Missing Someone?

Tanhaai mein humney Aeena dekhna chod diya
Humarey aks me unkee tasweer dikhayi padti hai;
Abb toh khamoshi mein bhi sukoon nahin milta
Usee gair-maujood ki awaaz sunaayi padti hain !!!

~ Rups ~

Kabtakk khaali aahaton se, raat-raat hum jagey?
Koi aahat aisi bhi ho - jiska ilzaam unpey lagey…!

~ 4th Sept '07, Bangalore